SEXCHANGE - NEW ACTON - HIS BIRTHDAY - COINCIDENCE???
 
And so it was,
A balmy spring evening in Acton, the Lego container pop up towering, Eiffel like, over the gathered pack of elite athletes.
Off we set, over the Acton Harbour bridge, straddling Parkes way, up and through the Acton "Hipster" area, alternate home of
Zika - The New Gay Plague in Canberra (I can't back that up), left into the ANU, up the Black Mountain for the runners and
along the effluent channel for the walkers. Procreating rabbits. Portable Mongolean accomodation. A scarcity of trail. 
 
A cracking pace was set and maintained, stringing out the hashers like a particularly runny cow poo. The pale hare, his
lilly white legs glowing under the waxing moon pedelled out of the darkness and rounded up small groups of hashers lost in
the labiarinth that is the Australian National University. The runners were temporarily sidelined by a cat cooking demonstration.
 
A drink stop by the lake, punctuated by the grunts of frustration from CRASH and BURN trying to break into the packets of 
Madrass curry flavoured chips, welded shut with the spit of lower caste indians on the end of the production line.
 
A circle, formed with sweaty hashers, arranged around the fire bucket. The agenda turned upside down by the self serving
birthday boy for reasons known only to himself. The hare song was comprised of three verses this week involving a Brisket,
Acton and a Puny Uni. MCTAF was awarded / has / is a big prick. DUCKHEAD was awarded the FRB, having gained an
unfair tactical advantage over the rest of the pack by actually listening to SEXCHANGEs chalk talk. There was conjecture
over this decision as CENTREFOLD was a C#nt hair away from receiving it for leading the pack astray.  
 
DICKHEAD 2 achieved the not inconsiderable feat of being seen to leave 400 times. Cracker of the week was awarded to
SCROTUM BITER due to the fact that a Scrotum is the closest thing to a bum crack (Except C and Bs tongue). The semi
legendary INFALLABLE run of 1969 had an honourable mention. C and B was charged for pissing on Canberra. SQUATTER
was mistaken for a runner. INCIDER was charged for shortening BETTY BOOPs wee wee. (It all happens at the hash)
EGO attempted to charge someone but it all came out wrong and EGO got embaressed then the charge bounced back
and it all ended in tears and was officially designated the worst charge of all time !!! .CC was outed as a chip smuggler.
HORSES ARSE ran straight into a tree. BaBs charged the hare for having the guts to set a self guided trail. (or not) 
SCARLETT = Shortcutter. GERBILS was castigated for saying something mildly amusing. 
Tonights rugby charge was based on the Aussie under thirteen school girls beating their NZ rivals in a carpark in Invercargil.
 
At this point CRASH and BURN informed the hash that "it's great being a bikey, because i get to root smally boys" Again,
stunned silence, for a nano second, just long enough to register in the smallest of hash minds, then back to reality, a 
charge against CAPT HORNBLOWER for being beaten by MRS HORNBLOWER by a staggering 25 minutes at the
Canberra Fun Run. Finally, the stand in, stunt double, facsimile, cardboard cut out of the GM wanted to sing a sea shanty
so he charged all the Navy personnel, got them into the circle and serenaded them. Apparently BABs got some meat on
Friday night. MEAT denies any involvement of course.
 
These properly paragraphed and paraphrased notes were written by the trembling quill of the miserable old git sitting in his
camp chair at the back of the circle. On On